Time Flies

Tick tock tick tock... and it is nearly the end of my first trimester. Well, I found out I was pregnant pun at 9 weeks, naturally lah the first trimester just flew past in a blink of an eye.

I am really suffering from nausea these past few days. Honestly, I don’t know whether this is a genuine pregnancy sickness nausea, or just ‘psycho’ nausea. Sebab dulu before I knew I was pregnant, takde pulak pening kepala, mual, mabuk bagai. Now dah tahu, mula lah mengada ngada.

As usual, I cannot be hungry at all. Must be fed at all times! Lambat makan sikit, and the headache would not subside no matter how much I eat. And it’s not just the customary three meals per day! Just to give you an example of my meal from last Thursday:

• Breakfast with two pieces of bread with Nutella
• Second breakfast with nasi kerabu bungkus
• Lunch at Rakuzen with garlic fried rice and teriyaki beef
• Snacks at the office makan keropok and breakfast bars
• Tea time at Asam Pedas with mee kari
• Dinner at home with white rice and lauk
• Supper with fried egg kapit with two pieces of white bread.

Fuh, can you imagine my weight now? Kalau tak makan, pening. Kalau makan, gemuk. Le sigh.

But then again, I must really thank my lucky stars that I am just experiencing a sliver of what other pregnant mothers go through. To compare someone who has Hyperemesis Gravidarum versus my relatively mild gassiness plus night sickeness and zero vomiting, is simply unfair. Alhamdulillah, my work and career are not impacted at all from this pregnancy.

My tummy is really protruding out. Not sure whether it’s due to the baby or just the sheer amount of food I eat. It is getting uncomfortable to sleep no matter how many pillows I use to support my tummy and my back. Sooooo miserable.

Other than that, the itching at the tummy area is starting already. Although I am religiously putting Bio Oil and Clarins stretch mark cream after every shower (doesn’t really help my old stretch marks but hey, I don’t want to make them worse)... but sometimes I just feel like scratching the hell away. But sabar sabar. Still can tahan.

With this pregnancy, I'm still having the occasional acne breakouts, and my hair is absolutely limp. Hence, I have zero motivation to dress up and look good. I guess it is true - common wisdom explains that this is because the baby girl is stealing the mother's beauty. All I want to do is to dress myself up in comfy baggy clothes and curl up on the sofa and sleep. I have no interest in updating my social media nor take photos of myself. I still have to look presentable to work, but honestly I’m running out of clothes to wear to hide my bump. My mood is generally neutral in the office (as long as I am constantly fed), but just the other day a staff of mine had to bear the wrath of my hormonal crankiness. No I didn’t scream or anything, but damn - I was strict and direct. Zero smiles.

My sweet sister in laws arranged for a surprise bouquet of flowers to be sent to the office - they're as excited as I am to welcome their first niece! Meanwhile, the boys are starting to accompany yours truly at shopping for girls clothes. OMG I gravitate towards anything pink... and everything is so cute!!!

Just one more week before I jump into my second trimester. Usually then, the ‘I need to eat all the time’ phase eases up, and my headaches go away too. I am sooooo looking forward to that.

Wish me luck peeps.

Adrian is Here! (And already a month old!!)

Oh wow, I sense a pattern here. When Aiden was born, my first post reporting his arrival was exactly a month after his delivery. With Adrian, it seems like I will be replicating the same!

Even the first paragraph from that post, fits this post! Let me reproduce it here: It has been more than ONE MONTH since I last penned (typed) my thoughts. Such is life. Who would have thought that having a baby (and juggling a toddler) would take up so much time and effort!

Honestly, it is not easier the second time around. On the contrary, having so called "experience" with a firstborn sort of lulls you into believing that you will be able to survive the first month of your second child unscathed. The sleepless nights are every bit as tiring and as frustrating as the first. But fret not, the joy and happiness of cradling a sweet smelling new baby is as enjoyable as the first as well. Yes, such is life.

Anyway, in my last post I mentioned that I was going to be checking into the hospital the next day. The plan was to have an induced labour primarily since I wanted to have the baby on my birthday. You see, my father and I share the same birth date, and since my due date was so close to our birthday, I thought having three generations share the same birth date would be super uber cool! Secondly, after having an induced labour with Aiden, I really quite enjoyed the whole calm manner of which we handled the check in. We managed to have a good dinner, check into the hospital, settle into the ward and I ultimately had peace of mind because the anal part of me knew that everything I needed for the duration of the stay is packed in my bag.

And so the fateful day arrived and I kept myself busy checking (and rechecking) my hospital bag, cleaned my bedroom (which I can only step foot in after 44 days of confinement), cuddled with Aiden, had instant noodles Maggi Asam Laksa (which I sorely miss right now), and battled with Braxton Hicks since lunch. Or so I thought it was Braxton Hicks! (I first had Braxton Hicks the night after my SIL's wedding, and the next was during dinner with the in laws the week after.) Since I have had it a couple of times, I didn't let it bother me although I did make a mental note that it was much stronger than before. At about 430pm that fateful afternoon, I sat down to have a late lunch to supplement my tummy while waiting for a neighbour to come over to set my hair (yes, you read that right) and for Hubby to leave the office at 6pm to pick me up.

430pm: Before I had my first bite, Whatsapped my neighbours to ask whether it was normal to have contractions before the water bag burst. Since I had absolutely no experience with natural labour, I wasn't quite sure of the sequence. They replied saying that either could come first and I replied telling them that I was going through a stronger version of Braxton Hicks but I didn't think that it was the real thing. In my own words; "Contraction nie takde lah rasa sakit macam nak mati, and irregular timing pun, so it must be Braxton Hicks!" Instantly, everyone in the Whatsapp group panicked and started asking me to time my contractions and telling me horror stories about accelerated second births.

445pm: The neighbour (let's call her A) who was going to set my hair arrived, with some really scrumptious cekodok pisang. She started timing my contractions.

5pm: After assuring her that everything was alright, she started blowing my hair. Another neighbour (let's call her L) arrived shortly after and took over her job of timing my contractions, and called Hubby. Both had really worried faces, it was quite hilarious! Hubby called and started coaxing me to head to the hospital with them, and he will just meet us there. I refused, mainly because I didn't want to burden my neighbours, and it was close to 530pm - massive traffic jam everywhere! Our Whatsapp group was buzzing non-stop with queries from the other neighbours who were not there. Meanwhile, they loaded A's car with my hospital bag and towels in case my water bag burst - eh, who said anything about going with them??? Hmm...

549pm: Finally, after lots and lots of coaxing, I boarded A's car, all the while protesting that it was merely a false alarm. L was on the phone with Hubby to confirm that we were meeting him there. A's car needed fuel for the ride so we detoured to the nearest petrol station. I was still protesting and kept telling A to turn the car back home. Oh the drama!

6pm: After refueling the car, I was still protesting strongly. Honestly, contractions were getting stronger but I didn't dare tell them. A stopped her car by the roadside and after a heated (but funny) discussion, L told A to drive me to the nearest clinic. Arrived at the clinic, L registered me while I called Hubby to tell him to come home immediately. In the clinic, the doctor did a VE and said that I was about 1.5cm - 2cm open, but it will probably take the whole night for labour to progress. Armed with this new information, I coaxed them into driving me home.

646pm: A drove us all home. I called Hubby to confirm the change of plans.

705pm: After performing Maghrib prayers, A continued blowing my half set hair. Contractions were getting stronger and stronger (now I no longer believed it was Braxton Hicks... it was the real thing!!) and I was quite desperate for Hubby to get home. L kept taking pictures of me setting my hair while going through contractions. Hubby arrived home. After he performed his Maghrib prayers, he transferred the luggage and herded Aiden and the maid into the car, while I scrambled to pack some kurma, air zam zam, bread and crackers as food to last me through the labour (and through the night... or so I thought!)...

815pm: Left the house. Short transit at the end of our lane as a neighbour wanted to give us some kurma (I have really thoughtful neighbours, you see!) and then off we went. Good thing I had top-up my TouchNGo earlier, and we had just enough fuel to get us to the hospital, so we didn't need to make any other stops. During the ride, I confessed to my neighbours, that if my contractions had been as painful as the one I was going through then, I would have definitely agreed for them to drive me to the hospital! Got to the end of MEX at 846pm.

855pm: After a slight drama at the junction entering the hospital (Hubby was nervous about breaking a road rule, I on the other hand couldn't care less about going through a double line if it means getting to the hospital quicker), we finally arrived. Checked into the emergency room and was wheeled to the labour room by wheelchair. Contractions were 6 minutes apart. Nurse at the labour room asked me "Boleh saya tahu, apa masalah puan?" And I answered quite crossly "Erm, something is coming out of me??!!" (L's reaction to this was "Nurse mana nak kena makan tuh?" *grin*)

910pm: They hooked me up to the CTG machine for a 20minute observation. Meanwhile, Hubby was outside the labour room area, busy calming Aiden down as he wanted to be with me. So I went through a few strong contractions all on my own, but having my neighbours on Whatsapp cheering me on.

940pm: After the 20minute observation, I requested to see Aiden. Walked out and cuddled and comforted Aiden as much as I could. Suddenly, a strong contraction came and I couldn't even stand up. Hubby had to help me up and I quickly walked back into the labour room.

953pm: Nurse did a VE and I was about 3cm by then with strong contractions at 4 minutes apart. Nurse asked me whether I wanted pain relief, and I asked for epidural.

1006pm: Waited patiently for the anesthesiologist to arrive. In the meantime, was given medication to clear my bowels. Hubby returned into the labour room after passing Aiden over to my in-laws. Hubby actually commented that my hair looked nice; all my neighbour's carefully crafted curls bunched up into a pony tail - well at least someone was appreciating the hair!

1049pm: Bowel cleared, and in between contractions, I had a bit of drama with Hubby in the toilet to halalkan all my makan minum and all that jazz, and after that was done I changed into the hospital gown. Still no sign of the anesthesiologist. Contractions were getting more painful.

1110pm: Anesthesiologist finally arrived. Let's call him Dr X. My contractions were going strong at 3 minutes apart. Dr X's first reaction upon seeing my spine was that there was a lot of water retention at my back and it may be a bit of a challenge to locate the epidural space. The last time I had epidural for Aiden, I had to curl like a ball on the bed. This time, I remained in a sitting position and curled, using Hubby as support. As my contractions were getting closer and closer, I kept yelling out "Contraction!!!" each time I felt one so that he would stop pricking me since I was so nervous about having a needle so close to my spine when I was in so much pain. It took him three (I repeat, three) tries to get the catheter into the epidural space, not to mention numerous uncountable numbing local injections. Unfortunately, even with the catheter in, I only felt a slight relief on the left side, but no major pain relief so he asked me to tilt my body to the right to help the medicine to flow to my right side. Easier said than done, especially with contractions banging you nearly every minute. I kept asking Dr X, "Is it working?" and he would answer "You tell us!" They continuously monitored my BP and he remarked that my BP was going down slightly which is a sign that the epidural is working. But still no complete relief! Actually, I think I probably felt zero relief! Contractions were going strong, clocking at 130 to 160. I was writhing in pain on the bed, and for some stupid reason, the word "nuance" kept playing in my head. I was using a bombastic word in my mind, nuance for "I felt every nuance of pain..." Okay, I digress. Back to the story. At that point, my contractions felt like it was going non-stop as it would rise up to 150, then go back down to merely 50 then climb back up to 135. I couldn't even get a breather in between to face the next contraction! Dr X finally conceded that the epidural probably didn't work (what??!!) and asked the nurse to conduct another VE before attempting a second try. It turned out that I was 8cm going to 9cm! Dr X then uttered the dreaded words "I don't think we have time to put in a second epidural", in which I replied "What??? I can't do this!!!" I think Dr X took pity on me and he said "We can try a second epidural, but we will have a very short time span to try between contractions." Upon hearing this, I immediately sat up, gave him a big smile and said "Let's do this!" in which he replied "You are one of the coolest patients I've ever had. Even in pain you can still joke around!" Yes Dr X, in retrospect, thanks for the compliment, but the only reason why I was nice to you was because you were in control of the juice! *grin* Curled my body against Hubby again, and as he was piercing my back, I felt like I wanted to push. Suppressed the push as I was worried that he wouldn't proceed with the epidural if I told him that I wanted to push. This time Dr X tried to find an epidural space further upwards than the previous try. Heard him reciting some doa, and even talking to my spine... "Come on spine, be nice to me please.." Yes... he talked to my spine!!! Felt a contraction coming, yelled out "Contraction!!!" and as I was riding the contraction wave, I felt him push the needle in, and finally he declared the epidural done! I immediately said out loud "I think I want to push" and the nurses in the room shouted "Don't push!!!" Oh the drama!

Midnight ish: As soon as they taped the epidural tubes in place (in super record time, mind you!), they laid me back down on the bed. Dr X started talking (apologising?) to Hubby for the initial epidural failure, but their chat was cut short when I extended my hand to Hubby for support. I felt a very strong urge to push and suddenly... my water bag burst. I think I said something along the lines of "Pecah!" A nurse rushed up to me, selak my gown and pushed my legs open to do a VE (no time to think of aurat at that point, so Dr X respectfully left the room, or rather mencicit keluar as fast as he could) and then she turned to another nurse and said "Call!" I found out afterwards that I was fully dilated and she was instructing the nurse to call Dr Seri to come and deliver the baby. I also found out afterwards, that Dr Seri, not knowing the urgency of the situation (especially since the last phone call she received from the nurse at 9pm, I was reported at 3cm hence she automatically assumed that I would only give birth early morning), told the nurse that she will leave her house in 15 minutes, but the nurse told her to come immediately as "she is ready to deliver anytime!" Meanwhile, I was struggling to suppress my body from pushing, so the nurse offered laughing gas. Initially, I pressed the gas button sporadically and only in short bursts. But then the nurse guided my thumb and pressed the gas button long and hard, (as if telling me, it's okay to go crazy with it!), and after that of course I pressed the button continuously non-stop! And boy oh boy, why didn't anyone tell me about the beauty of laughing gas??? Contractions? Didn't even feel a thing! I closed my eyes and enjoyed a relaxing nap. It felt like a nap, but really, it's like floating through space, albeit being half conscious. My brain was probably half conscious as well as I had to force myself to open my eyes so that I could remember the situation (in order to blog about it!) and I remember Hubby talking to me, telling me about how strong I am and how I can go through this. Funny, I think I smiled underneath the gas mask because Hubby looked so worried but really I was having the time of my life with the laughing gas. After a while my thumb got sore, so Hubby offered to take over pressing the gas button. And innocently, instead of giving me continuous gas, he lifted his thumb a few times. And every time he lifted his thumb, I gave a loud growl from underneath the gas mask, until he finally got the drift.

1217am: Dr Seri finally arrived! They took away my gas mask while the nurses prepped the room for delivery. I remember saying drowsily, "Hi doctor, the laughing gas is superb, can I have it back?" and she laughed and said "You can't have anymore gas. You have to get ready to push!" I think by that time, the epidural must have kicked in because my legs were flopping around without control. But I could still feel the urge to push so I requested to push. It took four pushes, two pushes to get the head out, one push to feel the "ring of fire" that people kept talking about, and one last push for the shoulders.

1237am: Adrian was out! Dr Seri gave Hubby the honours of cutting the umbilical cord and then she delivered the placenta (after a few tries). Since Adrian was smaller than Aiden, weighing only 3.57kg, I didn't need any episiotomy and only had a half cm tear which didn't even need any stitches. (So what was the point of the epidural again?)

And that was how Adrian Iskandar arrived in our arms on that fateful Friday early morning. In a nutshell, instead of being induced, Adrian "chose" to share the same birthday as Mummy. The epidural failed and I felt every "nuance" of pain up until 10cm. Apparently, given no choice, I have a strong threshold for pain. And yes, I am a wonder woman!

Random notes:
1) Hubby was deeply moved by what I went through that as soon as he got to the ward and we were well rested enough to laugh about what just happened, he said "For baby #3, kita ceasar jer lah Yang. I tak sanggup tengok you go through nie lagi sekali..."
2) Hubby then said "I sebenarnya tak nak cakap, tapi I rasa I kena cakap jugak... kalau you follow neighbours kita pegi hospital, semua nie mungkin takkan jadi kut??!!" Erkkk...
3) Since we didn't have time to have dinner, we were both so hungry that Hubby went out to find food at 4 in the morning, hence my first meal to kick start my pantang was Maggi goreng! Nyum!

Meet Adrian Iskandar. Doesn't he look like a mini version of Aiden?

All bundled up, face scrunched up. First picture in the labour room!

First picture with Mummy after the first latch.

All clean! First picture upon arrival at the wards.

N.B: Adrian Iskandar was safely born at 1237am on Friday, 29th November 2013 at Prince Court Medical Centre. He weighed a healthy 3.57kg. Mummy and baby were detained at the hospital for only 2 days as the post delivery recovery was fabulous and baby only had a slight jaundice. The damage incurred during those 2 measly days amounted to a whopping RM9,600.... thank god for medical coverage from the Dutch Oil Company!

Thing I'm Not Going To Miss About Being Pregnant!

Phewww! As I creep into my 39th week, I am just really really looking forward to getting Baby A out of me. I just want my body back! As selfish as this sounds, I might as well blog about all the things I am not going to miss about being pregnant, just as a reminder for me when we decide to have #3! (If there is ever a #3!)

Extreme back pain.

I had extreme back pain as soon as I entered my 7th month. The pain was right at the end of the spine and because of it, I found it very hard to get up after from being horizontal. Hubby had to help me whenever he was around. My gynae suspected that carrying 4kg Aiden may have had an effect on my pelvic bone so she prescribed physiotherapy and aquatherapy exercises in the swimming pool. After my initial assessment with the physiotherapist, we found that my body anatomy is imbalanced, making me prefer my right side to support my body weight. In the end, I ended up getting Hubby to give me back massages and depending on AcuStop (medicated patches) to reduce the pain. 

Extreme itchiness.

Wow, this one was really extreme. It started as soon as I entered my 8th month. Hubby suspected that it had to do with consuming seafood (although I have never had any prior allergic reaction to seafood), but the itch persisted even after I started avoiding any kind of seafood. I only succumbed to lobster and Fatty Crab, and of course paid dearly for it afterwards. The itch was so bad that I would scratch myself in my sleep until it bled. I would itch at all possible areas of my body (even behind my ears!) and the absence of a rash made it hard to predict where I would itch next. All my hard work religiously putting anti stretch mark creams went out the window as I couldn't stop scratching at the tummy area as well. There was one night when we went to Setia City Mall and I developed an itch at the chest area. I ended up buying calamine lotion at a nearby pharmacy and nearly poured the whole bottle on myself as soon as we got into the car. No matter how much stretch mark cream, calamine lotion and anti rash powder I slather on to myself, it merely eased it for half hour then the itch sensation would flare up all over again. In the end my gynae made me do a liver function test to rule out Obstetric Cholestasis, but that turned out negative. Finally, I was prescribed Piriton allergy tablets and I continue to depend on that until today.

The "sinking" feeling.

I don't know how to explain this, and I probably never will. Although I have to admit the sinking feeling has somewhat reduced itself to only happening during the third trimester, as opposed to having it throughout the pregnancy when I was carrying Aiden. The sinking feeling is similar to what you will feel when you are on a roller coaster. I can't explain why I have it and what triggers it, but whenever I experience it, it feels like something really bad is going to happen and the hormones just surges over me making me want to just sit, bawl and cry. I notice that it usually happens when I am taking a shower. Sometimes I shake it off, sometimes I will just crawl into bed until it disappears.

Heavy, huge, expanding tummy.

Try carrying (or rather waddling) 20kg extra everywhere and tell me if it ever is enjoyable? Probably if the weight is evenly distributed then my legs may cope, but when it is concentrated on just the tummy area, sometimes I even have to arch my back just to balance myself. And why is it that no one seems to be able to judge how much space my protruding tummy takes in an elevator and ends up brushing his/her body against it?? Of course, the huge tummy makes me breathless, and forget about bending down to pick up anything. If ever I need to sit down on the floor, god forbid I need to stand up again! But yeah, when I finally do need to stand up, Hubby helps or I end up on all fours then scramble to hold on to something to support my weight to help me stand. And yes, I am carrying a huge baby (another 4kg??!!) and I do have the license to eat, so stop annoying me by saying that I look huge! Trust me, I don't want to be this huge.

Difficulty finding a comfortable sleeping position.

The first thing I am going to do after giving birth is roll over, tidur meniarap and have a really good sleep. Despite all the pillows I use to support my tummy, to hug between my legs and to even support my back, I wake up in the morning facing flat up. My body doesn't like being told that it has to sleep sideways and rebels during the night by turning itself. See #4 for explanation on heavy tummy and #1 on back pain, combine these two together and you will understand my frustration whenever it is time to go to sleep. Duduk pun salah, baring pun salah! *sigh*

Baby stretching in my tummy and hard kicks to the bladder.

Honestly, I rather have Baby A out of me so I can actually play with him, instead of him being inside me wiggling and playing with (read: kicking) my bladder! Also, whilst I actually enjoyed the small kicks and turns Baby A made during the early phases of the pregnancy, I didn't really enjoy the stretching during the early third trimester as it kept making me feel like I needed to pee. (Amazingly those stretching stopped at the end of the third trimester probably because there wasn't much space left for him to do that.)

The need to pee!

Yes, the need to pee ALL the time. Especially when you're out and about in a shopping mall or driving in a traffic jam. It has gotten to the point where every time I stand up, I feel the urge to pee. Imagine my frustration when I finally summon the courage to pee in a petrol station toilet and had lined the toilet bowl with so much tissue until it met my hygiene standards, only to find that I only needed to pee a teeny teeny weeny trickle. Not worth the effort! And I hate having to wake up in the middle of the night to pee so nowadays I make sure I drag myself to the toilet just before I sleep. Did I mention peeing a little each time I cough or sneeze? So please don't forget to kemut and do your Kegel exercises!

Being hot!

And i'm not talking about being sexy hot. I'm constantly feeling warmer than everyone else and it is very frustrating. Hubby keeps complaining that the car/room aircond is too cold and we end up wrestling for the aircond button/remote.

Protruding belly button.

I hate it when people prod my belly button! Aiden especially likes pushing it in, and got very excited when he discovered that my belly button will "sink" in whenever I am lying flat on my back. (Some people complain that their tummy becomes public property once they get pregnant, everyone touches it - but I guess I have a higher tolerance than some people. So yeah, I don't mind you touching my tummy, but don't prod my belly button!!!)

Not being able to shave down "there".

I hate having to depend on Hubby to help me shave. *period*

Skin and hair and water retention.

When carrying Aiden, at least I was blessed with good hair and glowing skin, but started developing oil seeds on my forehead which never went away even after the pregnancy. This time around, the oil seeds got worse (even with religious cleansing and monthly facials), and my hair just wouldn't cooperate - especially after the perm I had during my 4th month. As for the water retention, it officially started when I felt the water retention in my fingers whilst I was running 5km at 33weeks (never again!). However, the water retention in my feet and fingers is significantly less than when I was carrying Aiden. The Fitflops I bought two sizes two big, to accommodate for the same water retention during Aiden, still feels big until today. I can even wear my normal flat shoes! But the bloating of the facial features? *sigh* Check out my huge nose... *double sigh*

Unfashionable maternity clothes.

Did I mention how expensive they are too? They cost a bomb, and they don't make you look good. I swore I was going to depend on leggings and long tops during my entire pregnancy, but I ended up rotating between two black (black is good!) non-pregnancy slacks from Marks & Spencer and Mrs Read, and reusing all of my old maternity clothes. Stretchable and comfortable but soooo unfashionable!

Heartburn, morning sickness and cramps.

Way down on my list since I made Gaviscon my best friend, and knowing that stuffing myself silly with food will ease my morning sickness and nausea, which magically stopped after the first trimester. As for the cramps, I think I only woke Hubby up once during the night to help me with a cramp. Other times, whenever I feel a cramp coming, I manage on my own by just pulling my feet back until the sensation disappeared. Oh, and no bleeding gums this time!

Checking into the hospital tomorrow. Wish me luck and bring me a plate of Sashimi when all this is done!

Baby's face on Hubby's birthday. It was the last (and only) time we got to see his face because he's forever shy, covering his face with his hand, and then afterwards he turned downwards to get ready to engage. 

Pregnancy #2 and PCOS

Hurray! As I am writing this post, I'm in the home stretch - my third and final trimester officially starts this week!

Babycenter says: "If you're like most women, you'll gain about 11 pounds (5kg) this trimester." Ehem, sorry I am not like most women. So far, I have gained a total of 12kg, and do you really think I am going to gain just 5kg in the coming 3 months? For the record, I gained 25kg in total carrying Aiden, and my only goal for this pregnancy is not to top that!

Okay fine, I should also mention that my doctor has told me to cut down on my carbs unless I want to pop another 4kg baby *grin*

Anyway, my weight is not the intention of this post.

And so... I have PCOS. PCOS is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and according to Wikipedia, it is "thought to be one of the leading causes of female subfertility and the most frequent endocrine problem in women of reproductive age".

In short, it is the cause of my irregular periods. And when I have irregular periods, I can never know when I am ovulating. Therefore, if I do not know when I am ovulating, I would not know when I would be fertile to conceive! It was actually quite a miracle that I managed to conceive Aiden. I know, because that was what the doctor at the KL Fertility Clinic told me during my first visit.

Some of the symptoms of PCOS are:

• Infrequent periods. Obviously! Really, I don't spend tons of money on menstrual pads yearly. I think I even went without a single cycle when I was in boarding school. And when I was taking care of my Mum in hospital, the stress got to me and disrupted my cycle to the point where I was walking with great difficulty and pain.
• Tendency to store fat in the truncal areas. Now this explains why I have a pear shape. I find that whenever I lose weight, people notice my face shrinks first, and my butt last.
• Obesity, weight gain and difficulty to lose weight. All those running aren't going to win in the battle against PCOS. *sigh*
• Excess hair growth.
• Oily skin and acne.

I think both Hubby and I decided to try for #2 just before Aiden turned 3. We thought a 3 year gap would be just nice. After a full year of trying, I was getting quite frustrated. It came to a point where I would think I was pregnant, imagining the feeling of being hungry or nauseous, and then I would secretly do pregnancy tests and get all worked up over the negative result. Secretly, I was in denial about needing fertility treatments, especially since Aiden was conceived naturally. I was a walking ticking time bomb and in December 2012, the bomb finally exploded and I found myself emotionally distressed, googling for fertility clinics.

The earliest appointment I could get was with KL Fertility Centre (which is literally within walking distance from my office) and they did a great job in my first check up. I suspected I had PCOS based on some reading I had done earlier, but it was quite an experience to have a doctor confirm the diagnosis. Hubby also went through some tests with them, and his results were encouraging. So really, the problem is with me and not him!

Armed with all the results from the fertility centre, we went for our first appointment with Tropicana Medical Centre, Fertility Centre in Januay. Most of my friends had their IUI done there and a colleague of mine also had a successful IVF with them, so naturally I felt that TMCFC would be my best bet. I was so right! The doctor was soooo encouraging and I felt like he really took the time to explain my condition and the various treatments available. In the end, we made up our minds to try to conceive naturally before opting for IUI. So, I was given medication to stimulate my menstrual cycle and test kits to check for ovulation.

The decision we made to go natural instead of IUI, was quite a gamble because it was actually our last chance to conceive and deliver a 2013 baby. In the event that the trial failed, we would have to try again and it would be a 2014 baby, resulting in a 5 year gap between Aiden and BabyA instead of 4 years. (Imagine Aiden in Standard 6 while Baby A would just be enrolling intp Standard 1! *gasp*) Therefore, not only was I under pressure to conceive, I was also under pressure to conceive on the first try! Stress!

And so the stimulated menstrual cycle worked (FDOP 28th Feb), but unfortunately I ran out of ovulation kits and I still wasn't ovulating! A friend suggested that I just keep buying ovulation kits available at the pharmacy, but I didn't want to take the risk so I went back to the hospital (13th Mar). Apparently my temperature was slightly elevated, but I still wasn't ovulating - so in the end I opted for a stimulated ovulation! (Dah la stimulated menstrual period, ovulation pun stimulated jugak!) It was a slightly painful jab on the tummy area - I could literally feel the fluid travelling and spreading all over the uterus area (layman's description - sorry I'm not a doctor!) and the uterus discomfort stayed until the day ended.

Kept myself very very busy for the next few weeks, which was easier said than done. I remember a close friend reminding me that I can try taking a pregnancy test about two weeks after conception, but I wanted to prolong it as much as possible. I was scared of taking the test too early and getting a negative result, and of course, just scared of getting a negative result, period!

First week of April came and I started to develop a fever. I had the fever on alternate days, i.e. Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. A neighbour suspected that it was "demam orang mengandung" but I brushed her suspicions off as I did not have any other symptoms. Furthermore, my symptoms when I found out I was pregnant with Aiden was headaches and cramps, not a fever. I was actually very worried that I was sick with something, as my body was aching and I was constantly depending on Panadol to reduce my temperature.

Come Monday, I went to the office clinic and told the doctor about my frequent fevers and my recent fertility treatment. She immediately scheduled an appointment for a thorough blood test and a pregnancy test for later that afternoon at their main clinic in KL. If I wasn't pregnant, than she would have to refer me to the hospital due to the frequency of the fever. So off I went to the main clinic, and since it was close to lunch, I had an early lunch with my stepsister first before going for my check up. All throughout lunch, I was feeling so weak I couldn't even finish my favourite Chicken Parmigiana. Walked up to the clinic and gave them my urine. Then sat on a stool for them to take my blood. While the nurse was taking my blood, another nurse was testing my urine, and she said nonchalantly "Hmm, positive...". It took me a good 5 seconds for me to digest what she said and I asked "Positive - meaning pregnant or not pregnant?" and she answered, nonchalantly (again!), "Pregnant".

As soon as they got all the blood they wanted, I skipped (!) out of the door and called Hubby. Hubby was as equally shocked as I was... I mean, we never expected it to lekat just after the first try. Texted my stepsister and the neighbour who suspected I had "demam orang mengandung", waited to see the doctor - who congratulated me as well, then went to meet Hubby for lunch at Full House, Jalan Yap Kwan Seng. All throughout lunch, we just couldn't stop holding hands and saying "Macam tak percaya!"... yes until today it still feels surreal on how our prayers were answered on our very first try.

The afternoon after the pregnancy test at the clinic, I went home and told Aiden the good news. His first reaction? "How is it coming out of you? From your mouth?? Get it out of you!!!" and he started making digging gestures to my tummy. I thought that was really hilarious. Hubby on the other hand, came home with two pregnancy tests. Since he didn't get to see the test at the clinic, I had to pee on two sticks just for his benefit. *grin*

We found out on the 8th of April, exactly a week before Aiden's birthday. I was still getting elevated temperatures throughout the whole week but I pulled through for Aiden's birthday BBQ celebration. Finally after Aiden's birthday party at his kindy, off we went for our very first check up. Alhamdulillah, there was a heart beat, baby size looked normal but only my placenta was a bit low - but not too low to be too worried about. Also got my blood test results, and it categorized me as a high risk pregnancy, so I was given medication for that as well.

I was quite amused when Hubby told the doctor "If only we had known it was going to be this easy, we would have made an appointment to see you last year!" So really, fertility is not the issue for us. It's all about knowing when exactly I am ovulating. After that, it isn't really rocket science!

First baby picture!

 

Straight from school, Abang Aiden playing at the Tropicana Medical Centre play area.

How's Abang Aiden taking it? So far so good. He's very excited that his new playmate is coming out of Mummy's tummy soon. Sweetly insists on carrying every single baby he can get his hands on, and everytime we visit my neighbour's new baby, he will softly touch her cheeks and kiss her. Awww...

Where Did 2013 Go??!!

Oh wow! My first post for 2013...

I know, I know... I have left this blog neglected for too long. I really should put more discipline in writing. *sigh* One can only try...

Anyway, Aiden is now 4, Hubby is turning 32 in 2 months and I am turning 31 in 3 months. Let me just give you a recap of what I have been busy with these past few months:

• Gallavanting through USA, with stops in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Disneyland (for Aiden, of course) and Houston with Aiden and Hubby. Shopped till we dropped and with all that cash flow, we probably revived the US economy by the time we left.
• Baking, baking and more baking... although I started declining orders in June...
• Baking a birthday cake for Adi Putra and making a dessert table for Adi Putra's daughter's aqiqah.
• Supporting my sister-in-law's campaign in the recent GE 13 (yes, she ran but she lost).
• Baking a Transformers cake for Aiden's 4th birthday party. Amazingly, we only had a small do for him at his kindergarten. Nope, he did not get a birthday bash this year (surprising news??) because.......
• I was so busy melayan my morning sickness my loya, various back pain, aches and being an absolute pemalas due to this bun in the oven: 

Yes, Alhamdulillah we are expecting #2 at the end of this year. On the 29th of November (my birthday) to be exact! So insyaAllah three generations (my dad, myself and baby) will share the same birth date. I'll keep the story of how we conceived #2 and found out I was pregnant, in a separate post, but let's just say, after waiting so long for a second child, Alhamdulillah the fertility treatments worked on our very first try.

So bear with me a bit more as I carry this bun around whilst trying to juggle work and squeezing blogging in the same equation. And yes, I haven't forgotten - I still owe various posts from 2012 especially on running, baking using my Raspberry Ice glass bowl Kitchenaid and Aaron Aziz's daughters' birthday dessert table! Will try to catch up when I can. If not, there's always the three month maternity leave to look forward to! *grin*

Till my next post, take care guys! And thanks for still taking the time to read this humble blog.

Love, Liz.