Adelyn Is Here!!

My ultimate favourite birth photo of Adelyn Yasmin.

Wow.

I’ve beaten my own personal record with this one. With the boys, it took me over a month to pen down their birth stories. But with my FIRST GIRL, it has taken me ELEVEN months to coax my writing mojo to make an appearance. Frankly, in this day and age, I’m not even sure if blogging is still relevant as a social media platform. I’ve shared so many photos and stories of Adelyn on Instagram that it feels quite odd to be still writing about her on my blog. But of course, there is a limit on how much exactly I can type in Instagram so here I am back on my blog, typing this blog post, so she can one day read this and enjoy her own birth story.

Why did it take so long? I'm not sure. For starters, I was enjoying my 5 months maternity leave a bitttt too much. Adel (that's her nickname!) was not an easy baby to begin with, so whatever free time I had away from her was spent binging on TV shows and online shopping. Barely 30 days into confinement, Hubby went for an operation to put in a pacemaker so I was commuting between home and IJN then assisting him in his recovery. Then when things eased up on the homefront, I got busy with planning her aqiqah (which deserves another post altogether), then after the aqiqah I had like nearly two months left of leave when suddenly my helper's mother passed away so I was left maid-less for 10 days. The most horrifying days of my life; juggling a screaming baby, pumping milk, caring for the two boys, laundry yada yada. I remember standing to have some leftovers for lunch while cradling Adel with the other hand. As soon as my helper came back, I had mastitis due to all the stress and was admitted into the hospital. My first experience with mastitis - no joke, I tell you! After being discharged we scrambled to prepare for our trip to Gold Coast (can watch my highlights on Instagram)... and then suddenly it was time to report for duty at work! *cries* Once at work, it was work work work non-stop, and literally no time to do anything else.

I digress. This is supposed to be a post about Adelyn's birth story. 

So Adel's due date was at the end of September, and Hubby was secretly hoping that I would carry her into October (his birthday month). I initially thought it was do-able, until I realized that my mid-thirties body won't be able to cope! So if we were to have the baby in Sept, it was either wait until she decides to meet the world, or opt for induced birth and choose a nice birth date. Naturally, we inclined towards 18.9.18 due to the number kapit. Furthermore, Aiden was induced while Ian wasn't, and I remember how calm it was with Aiden and how chaotic it was with Ian. Imagine hounding your husband to drive faster while having contractions from Shah Alam to KL. No thank you.

So the night of 17th September, Hubby and I checked into the hospital at about 10pm. It was a very calm check-in; we didn't inform any family members of our intent to induce. We wanted to check in into the junior suite but it was full for the night, so I requested to book the suite once the baby arrives. Unpacked and reminded the nurse to wake me up early morning so I can have my last shower before being induced. (Hard lesson learnt from the last induction with Aiden; by the time he arrived at ~3pm plus recoveries, visitors started arriving and I was all stinky with a urine bag hanging off me and strict instructions to remain in bed.)

445am: Nurse woke me up for my shower. I had managed to have one last wash and blow before we went to the hospital, so I bunched up my curls into a nice tight ponytail to last me through labour.

515am: The nurse inserted half Prostin. It was painful but I had no contractions whatsoever. VE showed 2cm. Was hooked up on CTG till 6am. Still no contractions. Managed to sleep between 7am - 8am.

830am: Dr Seri arrived. I was still at 2cm so she inserted the second half of the Prostin and did an S&S (stretch and sweep). The S&S was super painful! I actually googled S&S after she left, and found out that it can only be done by experienced doctors and is done to sweep the membrane to induce labour. Showed her my bloated hand due to the IV line, so she asked the nurses to take the IV out.

840am: Started feeling slight contractions, which gradually got stronger and stronger.

930am: Strong contraction started, so I was asked to clear my bowels. By 945am, CTG started marking 'mild' contractions which were very close together. Nurse suggested to take the epidural at 11am which I agreed to immediately. (With Ian I prolonged the request and the anesthetist was not available by the time I needed it!)

1045am: Contractions were going very strong so I called the nurse. I was in so much pain that a whole team of nurses came to check in; one checked my CTG, the other kelam kabut pasang balik the IV line that was removed earlier, and another assisted me to move beds so they could wheel me to the labour room.

Still very much pregnant.

1120am: The anesthetist arrived as promised, and she was so reassuring. The epidural process was as agonizing as I remember it to be. *shudders* Once the epidural was in, they did a VE and found out that I was still at 2cm! I was so disappointed. Despite the strong contractions, I was not progressing well. The nurses pun were disappointed because I was in so much pain, they were so sure that I was going to deliver soon. Hubby darkened the room and we managed to get some sleep in the labour room untill 1pm.

1pm: Nurse woke me up and we started on a low dose of Pitocin via drip. (Tak cukup dengan Prostin, I had to have Pitocin too! This Adelyn is one stubborn girl!)

Oh hello Pitocin!

130pm: Requested for Hubby to give me a foot massage because I was feeling really down.

145pm: Dr Seri popped in to check on my progress. While she was doing the VE, suddenly my water broke! So apparently the foot massage that Hubby gave me actually helped in progressing the labour. Water was clear, with no signs of poop; which is a sign that baby is still doing ok. However, VE showed that I was still at 2cm!!! Dr Seri gave me another S&S and increased the pitocin to full dose. After she left, I confided in Hubby that I felt really really down. I knew that if my labour didn't progress soon, baby was going to be in distress and then I would have to resort to a Cesarean. I started regretting the decision to induce. I mean, why force her out when she is not ready to meet the world?

215pm: Nurse came to do a VE. I declined because it was too close to the S&S. So the nurse said she would return at 3pm. Meanwhile, Hubby continued his (precious!) sleep beside me, while I was worrying about my labour.

245pm: Felt a strong pressure at my vagina. Woke Hubby up and he reluctantly got up. He suddenly realized that he hadn't done his prayers so he went to the toilet to take his wuduk. As he was doing so, the pain got stronger and I knew I couldn't wait for the nurse to come at 3pm. Insisted for Hubby to get the nurse immediately. Solat pun dah entah ke mana. VE was done... and I was at 9cm!

250pm: I felt a really strong urge to push. Pressure was very intense down there. Nurses started flooding my room to put my legs into the stirrup and to setup while another called the doctor. Dr Seri arrived just 5 minutes after that. During the peak of the moment, I realized that I completely forgot how to push. The nurses graciously taught me how to do so. "Jangan angkat buntut! Chin down! Pegang handle ni, dan pushhhhhh!!!" *chuckles*

302pm: And with just three pushes, Adelyn was out! The first thing Dr Seri said when she cradled the baby out was, "Eh, dia ada mark lah!" Yes, a very prominent mole above her left eyelid. She weighed a healthy 3.7 kg, beating his Babang Ian! I had to have 2 stitches because she was so bam-bam.

After she was cleaned up and weighed, they passed her back to me. She was wrapped tight in a white towel, and as I sat up in the labour bed, crading her in my arms, I felt a wave of gratitude and happiness flood throughout my body. It was such a different feeling from Aiden and Ian. Memang betul, ini lah yang ditunggu-tunggu. After so many years of longing for a girl, Alhamdulillah my prayers were granted. And the feeling - indescribable. Surprisingly, she was already coo-ing and blowing bubbles to us in the labour room, and I could feel both Hubby and I melted into a puddle, watching our beautiful and precious bundle of joy.

Freshly out of my womb. She doesn't look too happy, does she?

Cleaned and weighed.

Alhamdulillah, she's here!

All cleaned and wrapped in a towel. Check out her angry face. Someone wasn't happy to be forced out into the world! 

Started blowing bubbles in the labour room.

Opened her eyes for the first time! See, the world ain't so bad, baby girl!

Check out her very prominent mole. Ikut Daddy nie... he has a prominent mole just below his lower lip.

First smile!

Still sleepy from the epidural effect.

All clean! Finally checked in into our junior suite.

N.B: Adelyn Yasmin was safely born at 302pm on Tuesday, 18th September 2018 at Prince Court Medical Centre. She weighed a healthy 3.7kg. Mummy and baby were detained at the hospital for only 2 days as the post delivery recovery was fabulous and baby only had a slight jaundice. The damage incurred during those 2 measly days amounted to a whopping RM10,000 despite staying in the Junior Suite.... thank god for medical coverage from the Dutch Oil Company!

False Alarm

So yesterday, we had a false alarm labour.

It started just after lunch, around 2pm-ish. I started having contractions (though not painful). I tried to move around, drink water, lay on my right, hot shower... but the cramping still persisted. BUT it wasn't painful at all. Just an uncomfortable feeling of tightening around the tummy area, then release. My stomach was also hard to the touch. It was sort of like my earlier Braxton Hicks moments (they started about two weeks ago on and off), but what worried me was the frequency of the cramping and the fact that it wouldn't go away.

I remember when I was carrying Ian, I foolishly brushed off my actual contractions as Braxton Hicks. And look at how that turned out!!! By the time I acknowledged them as contractions, it was already very painful. By the time we got to the hospital, got my contractions monitored, changed, cleared bowels bla bla bla... there wasn't enough time for epidural.

This time around, I didn't want to take the risk. Dah la they say that labour progress will be quicker with the third child. Hence dengan kelam kabut I told Hubby to complete our hospital bag packing (yesssss banyak lagi rupanya last minute things yang belum masuk). Baru nak isi air zam zam, carik kurma, pack toiletries, yada yada yada. It turned out that we needed a bigger bag, so we had to change bags as well before we left. Kissed the kids goodbye and left home.

By the time we got to the hospital, it was just before Maghrib. They hooked me up to a contraction monitor, and as expected, it was registered as a mild contraction, and frustratingly irregular. The nurse did a VE and decided that the baby was still high up, so we were told to go home. *sigh* As I was walking out the emergency room, I still felt the contractions. We then went for a quiet dinner for two at Huckleberry Damansara Heights, and even then I was still having (painless) contractions every 7 -15 minutes apart. Baby AY was really pulling a fast one on me!

Arrived home and found that my helper had packed the boys' bags in preparation to head to the hospital. *giggles* The boys pulak wanted to 'see' the baby! Amboiiiii everyone is super excited to welcome the princess.

Nevertheless, this false alarm definitely showed us how unprepared we were for the actual thing. And I guess this reaffirms our decision - we will induce Baby AY tomorrow, and InsyaAllah she will be in our arms on the 18th. *18.9.18*

I hope you can spare a moment of your time to doakan for both this mummy and baby; that the delivery will be a smooth, quick and painless one. *kisses*

Just realized that I was so busy buying party frocks and tutus, that I did not buy any 'practical' butang depan clothes for newborns. Hence this was my last purchase for Baby AY - her going home outfit!

38 Weeks

Drafting this as I’m waiting for my (now weekly) gynae checkup. Yesterday was my last day at work, so I am officially on leave starting today. Honestly, memang menyesal tak accept the doctor’s offer for MC at from 36 weeks; I foolishly thought that I could cope with work until the end. What I failed to realize was that my body is aging. I’m not as young as I was when I carried Ian - back then I was baking and busy with decorating my SIL’s wedding dessert table at 38weeks!

If I can give anyone a piece of advise, it would be to have kids before their 30s. At 35 years old, badan memang dah tak larat nak lug around additional weight. And surprisingly, I gained a whopping 25kg this time around, meeting my maximum weight gain as when I carried Aiden. My legs and the heel of my feet simply cannot take it. Back pain tak payah cakap la. Just to shift sides on the bed pun I would be wincing in pain. Thankfully, Hubby has never slacked on his responsibility of giving me my nightly back and foot massage. It doesn’t cure the pain, but it’s at least 15 mins worth of pure bliss.

But looking on the bright side, Alhamdulillah I can confidently say that I did not slack off at work. This has been a relatively easy and drama free pregnancy... and to be able to work up until my 38th week, is something that I am extremely grateful for.

Ok, doctor’s calling! BRB.

Ok I’m back. So baby is now 3/5 down in the birth canal. Cervix is soft, 1cm dilated but the doctor still cannot feel the head of the baby (yup I went through a VE)! And she is 3.7kg! Omg that’s even bigger than Ian. I hope she’s not trying to beat Aiden’s weight. I’m banking on the machine’s 10% tolerance accuracy so hopefully in reality she’s below 3.5kg???

Options on the table? Induce myself on the 18th *18.9.18* or wait for her to come naturally. I’m oh so tempted to get her induced (sebab badan dah tak larat). I’ll have the long weekend to think about it - doctor recommends a staycation close to the hospital, just in case! *chuckles*

Wish me luck, peeps! For all you know, the next time you hear from me, l’ll be proudly showing off Baby AY to the world. InsyaAllah!

33 Weeks

5 weeks away from a full term baby!

Alhamdulillah, since my last blogpost at 30 weeks, I have done leaps and bounds in terms of necessities for baby AY. Some were purchased via online shopping (BabyDash is the best!) while the rest were from the recent Mothercare sale. And I managed to refrain myself from buying anymore baby clothes; super proud of myself! *chuckles*

So here is my a photo of my recent baby shopping spree:

As I said, we’re reusing a LOT of Aiden and Ian’s stuff, but I simply cannot run away from purchasing certain things as brand new. Consider this as a baby shopping checklist untuk anak kedua or ketiga dan seterusnya:

• Baby hair brush. Grabbed the cheapest out of the lot, which incidentally was from Tommee and Tippee. Nak sikat rambut jer pun! Although I am sincerely hoping that she has thick hair like Aiden, but curly like Ian.
• Baby toiletries. Did my research online and finally settled with the Mustela range. Zaman Aiden dulu, Johnson and Johnson tuh dah kira top range dah tuh. *giggles* Purchased the shampoo, wash gel, moisturizing cream and diaper rash cream. HappiKiddo online was selling them at more than 50% off so I borong terus. Minyak angin is always minyak Yu Yee Cap Limau cos I really love the smell.

Mustela smells really good too.

• For hygiene, baby wipes from Snapkis and Alexa. Euky baby hand sanitizer in two sizes, one for visitors and the smaller one for the diaper bag. 
• Cotton wool and cotton balls for the early diapering days. Plus baby cotton safety buds. 
• Medela nipple cream yang super mahal but super effective. Disposable breast pads for those leak days. Nursing tea from Joy Angel to boost my milk supply. 
• Baby towel from Cleva Mama. Bought one in pink and the other in white. Should be enough. 
• Baby binder (barut) from BumbleBee. Only because my makcik urut told me to buy one. Honestly, both my boys tak pernah berbarut pun. 
• Muslin cloth/ napkins from Mothercare. I didn’t splurge on Aden and Anais (which is so in nowadays) cos my helper said, “Ala, nak buat kain lap jer Puan!” *chuckles* Was going to buy new swaddles too but a friend just gave me three of hers so that’s sorted!

My first time buying a barut!

• Laundry liquid wash from NappiKleen, for washing all of AY’s newborn clothes.
• Milk bottle from MAM and cleaning brush. I hope she doesn’t reject the bottle! Mini milk storage bottles for storing precious breast milk. 
• Baby milestone cards, to record baby AY’s progress in photos. 
• Disposable baby bibs from Pigeon. Wow, they didn’t have these back in Aiden’s and Ian’s days. It was going for real cheap so I bought it anyway although baby AY is eons away from solid food. 
• Set berpantang. After much research, I settled with loose items from NR such as Minyak Herbanika for berurut, PhytoNatal pills untuk lawaskan perut and Akar Herbanika for drinking. Plus from Tanamera, Feminine Herbal Wash for you know what, and Brown Soap for showering. Everything else such as pilis, lulur and herbal bath will be prepared by my makcik urut, InsyaAllah.
• Last but certainly not least... a new car! Hahaha my Mini is definitely not appropriate for three kids so I definitely needed something bigger. That’s all I’m going to say! *chuckles*

There are a few other things still in the list such as diapers, milk storage bags, car seat mirror, stroller fan and pati ikan haruan. But really, those can wait until at least I am discharged from the hospital. Plus the hospital provides maternity pads, disposable panties and newborn diapers anyway, so no rush. But I do have to send my Medela Freestyle for service soon; waiting for my SIL to return it to me so I can get that done.

Next weekend, I’m going to dedicate my weekend to staying at home and packing my hospital bag pulak. Honestly, walaupun this time around my feet baru nak start bengkak (with the boys my kaki bengkak awal gila), I dah tak larat nak jalan-jalan at shopping malls. I don’t know how I used to do it when I was pregnant and younger. *sigh* I’m even trying to convince Hubby to chauffeur me to work. I get tired so easily nowadays, it’s super frustrating. And this cough from the durian (see my last post) is simply not going away. I really hope I recover soon.

Till the next blogpost, take care!

30 Weeks

Today, baby AY turns 30 weeks. How do I feel? Excited of course! But back hurts like crazy, constant urge to pee (at night before I sleep) and surprise surprise, I’m not hungry all the time anymore!

So anyway, Hubby is currently off on a business trip (over the weekend, jeez!) so I decided to embark on my hospital bag list. My oh my, I certainly have much much more to buy. For the past 7 months, I have been buying clothes left right and center, but absolutely neglecting other necessities.

Although I am reusing a lot of her Babang’s things, there are certain items that I will still need to buy brand new for her. (5 years or even 9 years is a bit too much for some things to be reused). I threw out a lot of leftover baby products, especially baby oil and baby powder. I had like 3 bottles of baby oil, and a huge giant bottle of powder. Honestly, I’m not a huge believer of baby oil and powder. I prefer baby cream moisturizers! Anyway, here are the items on the list:

• Newborn diapers
• Baby toiletries such as minyak angin, shampoo, wash gel, moisturizing cream, diaper rash cream etc.
• Baby hair brush - the old one dah keras gila, I wonder why??
• Baby wipes and cotton balls
• Hand sanitizer for visitors 
• Nipple cream *uurrggghh* definitely a must have
• Baby towel and muslin cloth/ napkins - the old ones dah jadi kain buruk *giggles*
• Crib mattress - just because the old one got mouldy *smacks head*
• Milk bottle and cleaning brush - just one, just in case
• Milk storage bags, for when I start pumping 
• Car seat mirror and a stroller fan 

I was in Mothercare earlier and started picking out things for my haul, but the lady at the counter was so nice, she said that there is a sale coming up for Merdeka. Terus letak balik everything. I’m also checking and comparing prices online - I'll share which ones offer the best deals. I’ll update this post with photos, once I purchase everything!

Hopefully I find the time to blog about my hospital bag checklist! Till then, take care!

Tips to Conceive a Girl

Despite my clear disclaimer that baby AY is an accident baby, I received quite a few requests about sharing tips on how to conceive a baby girl. Well, I’m never one to disappoint and truthfully, I did do my due diligence before embarking on my baby-making journey. It’s just that Allah didn’t want to bless me with a baby during that period. Bukan our rezeki at that point of time...

Well, there are a few old wives’ tales that I usually joke to. My favorite would be the ‘curik senduk’ from a person who had only birthed girls. Despite joking about it quite extensively, I have never done this before.

The second would be the Chinese Fertility Calendar. Well... this one is much more believable than the senduk. Like seriously! I have had a 99% accuracy with the calendar. Out of the gazillion (okay I’m exaggerating) checks that I’ve done with my friends and family, only one was wrong and itu pun was a borderline case (baby was born premature). So here’s how you read it. The Chinese believe that your life starts in the womb so if you have celebrated your birthday this year, you plus one from your actual age. So for instance, since I celebrated my 35th birthday in Nov, I have to +1 year in the womb making me 36. Hence according to the 36 line, as baby AY was conceived in Dec, the Chinese Fertility Calendar predicts that she will be a girl. (But if say, AY was conceived in March - before my birthday, then I should be reading the 35 line (34 sebab belum birthday +1) which means it will be a boy.)

Moving to the scientific stuff aka the Shettles method. So the boy sperm (Y) apparently swims faster but survive for shorter periods of time than the girl sperm (X). Hence if you want a girl, do the deed before you ovulate. The idea is that the boy sperm will swim so fast and find no eggs to penetrate and then they die. While the girl sperm swims slowly and surely, and by the time it arrives tadaaaa you’ve ovulated and you get a girl. (Unfortunately with PCOS I couldn’t predict my ovulation so I couldn’t do this one.)

Other than that, there is the acidic versus alkaline diet. Apparently male sperms are less able to survive in acidic environments, so start consuming acidic food if you are hoping for a girl. Some schools of thought also believe that getting your man to eat more chicken will give you a girl, red meat will give you a boy. This was tough for us to follow as Hubby lovesssss a good steak. But I then banned all meats at home and started serving only chicken for dinner. Unfortunately I forgot to inform my husband of the intent, and he conveniently had his share of red meat during lunch at the office! *chuckles*

Oh there is also the bath time method. Many believe that boy sperm are heat-averse, hence having a soak in a hot tub prior to doing the deed may help to weaken the male sperm awaiting release. Excellent way to start the night too!

And lastly but most importantly, the spiritual tip. Kirim kan doa to anyone going to Mekah; mine is as simple as “Doakan that my third baby will be a healthy baby girl.” Itu jer. Tak payah panjang panjang. Permudahkan for the person you are asking help from. And the other thing I did between the doctor confirming the pregnancy to receiving the call to confirm that it is a girl, was to perform solat hajat everyday. Alhamdulillah, after a few rounds of solat hajat, ada a few times I dreamt of carrying a baby girl. And memang rasa tenang after those dreams.

Hope this helps, good luck!

Eid 2018

Selamat Hari Raya peeps!

Overdue as usual, tapi raya kan sebulan. *chuckles* Hope you guys had a great Eid with family and friends.

Our days leading up to Eid were relatively uneventful. Despite being maidless (helper balik raya for her yearly holiday), I managed to take two days off before Eid for a facial plus manicure/pedicure. Dragged the kids with me and had to give them gadgets to keep them occupied. The fact that I managed to sleep throughout my mask was a sure sign that they behaved really really well! Iftar and sahur were purchased from various pasar ramadhans. Aiden pun dah big enough to help me with house chores - dah boleh harap to basuh pinggan, jemur kain, lipat baju (pants only!) and siram pokok.

Alhamdulillah, I also managed to tunaikan our nazar to donate a sum of money to anak-anak yatim. With the help of a neighbour, we bought Happy Meals and gave duit raya to the kids, while the balance went to the upkeep of the children’s home. Even though I wasn’t there physically, I certainly hope apa yang kami niatkan made their day.

Menunaikan nazar.

I was so so so very tempted to buy baju raya - rambang mata with the various designs and discounts too. But the fact that I don’t know how much I will slim down post pregnancy (I certainly hope I’ll go back to my original size *cries*), terus tak jadi nak beli walaupun jari gian jer nak click the Add to Cart button. Instead, I went crazy over the FashionValet sale with Duck scarves (cos you know, my head won’t grow bigger)! Handbags were also calling out to me but I’m eyeing something quite special but pricey - so I decided to sell some of my handbags on consignment to ease my finances for the next handbag. Other than that, my brother’s kontena finally arrived so that eased my shopping temptations oh so slightly. What did I get? A diaper bag, baby swing and Trunki for baby AY, solar lights for Hubby and of course - the latest addition (and hopefully final) to my kitchen countertop... my KitchenAid diamond blender! 

My handbags on consignment - they placed it on the floor jer! *amused*

Check out those Fashionvalet shopping bags!

After all the analysis on diaper bags, my Jujube BFF is finally here.

Current situation on my kitchen countertop.

Did I mention my craving for lemang periuk kera??? Just a few days before Eid, I saw some photos of it on Instagram and started salivating for some. The last (and only) time I tried it was in Cherating Kuantan, and upon memory the lemang was super lembut and lemak bersantan - it was even good to be eaten on its own! Posted my kempunan and so so many people stepped forward to suggest locations to purchase, and even some offered their Raya lemang orders to me. Awwww I was so very touched. In the end, I went with one of the suggested Instagram pages who was willing to still take my last minute order, and tadaaaa... kempunan resolved! Honestly this is the first time in this pregnancy that I’ve felt a craving for something. Usually anything goes for me, as long as it's Melayu food (no steaks, Western salads or even barbecued food for me)!

Thanks to Husna for accommodating my last minute request. Two thumbs up for her lemang periuk kera and daging dendeng.

Talking about the pregnancy, Alhamdulillah baby AY is growing well and according to her week age. Despite puasa penuh, I was honestly struggling between fasting and the pregnancy, and even at the tail end of Ramadhan I started losing my appetite and felt as if I didn’t eat as much as I usually did. Hence I gained less than 1kg from the last month’s checkup! (I typically gain ~3kg per month.) But even thought I didn’t gain much weight, my tummy has ballooned so much - I only discovered the sheer size of it when I was trying to shave. Thankfully I am still able to see my toes! *giggles* Baby AY is approximately 770gm now, and her latest scan showed a very prominent nose! Hidung macam Abang Aiden agaknya... can’t wait for her to arrive in our arms!

Check out that nose!

I digress. Back to Raya stories! We headed for Teluk Intan the day before Eid. All of my sister-in-laws beraya in Teluk Intan this year, so it was wonderful to get everyone under the same roof. Unfortunately, I wasn’t much help in the kitchen - blame it on the pregnancy. *sigh* We all also managed to have one last moreh/supper before Eid at McDonalds Teluk Intan (possibly the most happening place in town). The durian McFlurry was soooooo good. Absolutely worth the price tag. Siap sendawa durian lagi!

The morning of Eid, we got dressed and then discovered that we were the only ones not in biru (lebih muda)! Apparently my MIL changed the colour scheme two weeks before Eid. But in retrospect looking at photos, I think our peachy outfits certainly stood out from the pale blue everyone else was wearing.

Balik kampung macam nak pindah rumah. And a group photo of our last supper at McDonalds!

Official 2018 Eid photo.

Peach versus light blue.

We left Teluk Intan on the second day of Eid and headed to Ipoh to visit my stepmother and step siblings. Headed straight home that very same night and found myself doing already doing laundry on day three of Eid! Surprisingly, not many open houses invitations this year - which is just as well, since I don't have that many outfits to accommodate my bulging belly. *sigh* 

Last weekend, I managed to host my stepmother and stepsister at our humble home. Despite being maidless, I served Nasi Arab (of course beli!!!) and some homemade ayam kuzi and rendang that my helper had thoughtfully made ahead and frozen in case of impromptu visits just like this one. (Loveeeee my helper to death!)

One of the few outfits that I could still squeeze into. And Aiden and Ian posing with their cousin.

Nasi Arab spread.

Last but certainly not least, I'll close this blogpost with how the kids spent their duit raya. This year, Aiden was really adamant about spending his duit raya to his whim and fancies. I was having none of it, so we negotiated to a mutual agreement that half of his money goes to the bank while he has control of the other half. Ian, of course followed suit. Monkey see monkey do!

They pestered me for a trip to ToysRUs daily, and I finally relented. Imagined my shock at the price of the Minecraft set that Aiden chose. But a deal is a deal, and I allowed him to purchase it since it was still within the budget he had. But seriously, those are crazy pricey figurines!

I think that should summarize my past few weeks. Looking forward to my helper coming back home this weekend, so that I can stop juggling house chores and work at the same time. I am really feeling the heat at the office, especially when I have important meetings to attend and a team to manage. *sigh* I miss my laidback days in Upstream!!!

Here's hoping that you guys have a good Syawal ahead. Until next time, take care!

Marching On

I simply must do a recap of March. At the rate I’m neglecting my blog (let’s blame the baby, please); I might as well do a monthly run down instead of forgetting everything completely.

Where should I start? Hmmm... pregnancy? So far so good. I’m in my fourth month now but this night sickness doesn’t look like it’s going to let down anything soon. On some days my nausea is pretty bad, to the point that my tummy berombak-ombak and if I put a finger down my throat I would most probably puke my heart out. I try to stay away from paracetamol (although my boss keeps telling me off for doing that), so on certain days I just give in and douse first one and if needed, a second tablet.

Baby AY at 15 weeks! Simply couldn't resist buying that oh-so-adorable top for her.

Baby AY is growing great. Alhamdulillah she’s approx 100gm now. Which doesn’t explain my nearly 10kg gain but yeah whatever. I only get three licenses in life to binge on food, so heck, I’m enjoying myself. This baby is a baby Melayu just like his brothers, so I’m always game for ayam goreng minyak with rice. Too easy lah baby! If only I can start craving for lobsters or something. Please make it more challenging for Daddy, darling!

I’m due for a complete detailed scan in my next gynae visit. Asked my gynae about her opinion on going for a cesarean so that I can tie my tubes, but she wasn’t really supportive. Said that the operation itself is 10 times riskier than a normal birth, so why do it if not needed. Other than that, I’m also opting to get the Tdap vaccination (between 27-36 weeks gestation) to give the baby some form of antibodies even as a newborn. This is to protect her from the many Antivacs in the community spreading contagious diseases. If you’re pregnant, you should probably consider this too.

Ah if only that ~10kg lumps itself altogether at the tummy. But noooooo... my thighs and butt suffer first. *sigh*

Kids? Aiden got his first semester exam results and as expected, BM terus ke laut. It wasn’t really fair though - the last question in the paper involved the kids reading a long paragraph and spotting punctuation and spelling errors, then rewriting it correctly. Why unfair? Cos it was a whopping 30 marks. Memang if you’re not good in tatabahasa and vocab, you have no chance at all. Aiden got a measly 3 marks from that. That itself pulled his marks all the way down. But all other core papers Alhamdulillah he did well, so I’m a proud Mummy as always. A talent scout recently approached us to cast Aiden as a young talent for a drama mini-series. The first thing I said was “Dia tak pandai cakap Melayu. Susah nak berlakon!” *chuckles* Aiden is also very dependable now. I can just wait in the car while he buys nasi kerabu from our local stall, top up my Touch and Go, pick up a takeaway order at a restaurant... you get the idea. Memang emulating the abang character! Senang kerja Mummy, sejuk perut ibu mengandung. *smiles*

Loves extreme activities! Did laser tag for the first time and excitedly went into that round tube thing that tumbles you all over the place.

"Daddy's into fashion", claims Aiden. Little did he know that he's sporting the same swag!

Ian? Still meratib everyday in the car, “I don’t want to go (to) school.” Less crying but still adamant about his stance. Enrolled him (and Aiden) in Fun Camp over the last school holidays, hoping that it would inculcate a sense of love for school - but even that didn’t work. (Although I must applaud Aiden for diligently taking care of Ian throughout the duration of the program; from comforting Ian, to even suap Ian makan!) Despite Ian’s apparent hate for school, he loves doing ‘homework’. He can spend hours just coloring and writing, ignoring the TV. We’ve even resorted to bringing his small desk and chair down to the living hall so he can have a proper area to continue doing so. Macam langit dengan bumi with Aiden who would rather sprawl himself on the couch watching cartoons. I’m currently teaching Ian to write lowercase alphabets (he’s aced the upper case ones) and I can’t wait for him to improve on his phonics so he can start reading!

This little brown bear can spend hours just scribbling, drawing and colouring away. That's his interpretation of Mummy with baby (that odd round shape on my tummy). I wonder why I have spiked hair... Hmmm...

Happy face from Ian - during one of the rare occasions that I get to pick him up from kindy.

They both recently entered a Trunki Easter Egg hunt in Hamleys OU. It involved them scooting around in a Trunki and finding cardboard cutouts of Easter eggs hidden in the store. That experience certainly showed me the ugly side of parenting. It’s absolutely normal for parents to cheer and ‘help’ their kids by pointing out the location of the eggs from afar. But for a mother to snatch one and run to give it to his son, right in front of me while I was pointing to it but waiting for Aiden to scoot over in his Trunki to get it? That’s just ugly. I could have easily done the same so that we would win, but how is that fair to everyone else playing fair and square, scooting their butts off looking for hidden eggs? What kind of example are you teaching to your kids?

Aiden got number three!

Aiden bagged a lunch bag, while Ian won a consolation price of a cupboard Trunki; Fold-a-Trunki.

I digress. Let’s talk about happier things. Shopping? I’m definitely enjoying myself with this. Everything in pink is sooooo cute! To date, I’ve filled in a whole three drawers worth of clothes, five new born shoes and twenty headbands... and counting. Just the other day I saw this cute tutu assemble but unfortunately it was only available in 12-18 months size. Went to the counter to check on a smaller size only to find out that it was the last piece. After deliberating, I finally decided to get it. The cashier, probably empathizing with me, asked; “Baby tuh sekarang berapa bulan, Kak?”... implying that she thought I wanted to buy it as a gift for someone. I answered, “Baby tuh tak keluar lagi, nie dalam perut lagi”, while pointing to my tummy. Her face was stunned... she was speechless or should I say terkedu? It was so funny!!!

I’m also shopping for home! My eldest brother is returning from the US with a big-ass kontena in tow. Other than a new baby swing plus diaper bag for baby AY, everything else I ordered was for home. From solar lights to a KitchenAid blender. Can’t wait! Just yesterday my KitchenAid toaster arrived (separate kontena) and it looks so sleek and handsome on my kitchen counter. *drool*

I am so domesticated!

Work? As intense as ever. I’m currently looking to fill up a vacancy in my team, so I’m diligently having GTKYs (Get To Know You) with interested candidates. Unfortunately for one of them, that morning before the meet we had not one but two dramatic issues which compounded to the headache that I was already nursing. Hence during the GTKY I didn’t exactly paint a rosy picture about the expectations of the role. Scary stuff came out like repercussions and the need to be on-call at all times. Needless to say, she didn’t apply for the role in the end. *smacks forehead* I’ve also finally announced to the team about my pregnancy, and informed my #2 that he needs to step up into role while I’m away (he’s completely freaked out btw *giggles*) so that part is sorted. Now I can proudly show off my bump in the office (instead of sucking it in to hide it).

Hence that’s the end of March. Let’s continue marching on (pun intended) to April.

Time Flies

Tick tock tick tock... and it is nearly the end of my first trimester. Well, I found out I was pregnant pun at 9 weeks, naturally lah the first trimester just flew past in a blink of an eye.

I am really suffering from nausea these past few days. Honestly, I don’t know whether this is a genuine pregnancy sickness nausea, or just ‘psycho’ nausea. Sebab dulu before I knew I was pregnant, takde pulak pening kepala, mual, mabuk bagai. Now dah tahu, mula lah mengada ngada.

As usual, I cannot be hungry at all. Must be fed at all times! Lambat makan sikit, and the headache would not subside no matter how much I eat. And it’s not just the customary three meals per day! Just to give you an example of my meal from last Thursday:

• Breakfast with two pieces of bread with Nutella
• Second breakfast with nasi kerabu bungkus
• Lunch at Rakuzen with garlic fried rice and teriyaki beef
• Snacks at the office makan keropok and breakfast bars
• Tea time at Asam Pedas with mee kari
• Dinner at home with white rice and lauk
• Supper with fried egg kapit with two pieces of white bread.

Fuh, can you imagine my weight now? Kalau tak makan, pening. Kalau makan, gemuk. Le sigh.

But then again, I must really thank my lucky stars that I am just experiencing a sliver of what other pregnant mothers go through. To compare someone who has Hyperemesis Gravidarum versus my relatively mild gassiness plus night sickeness and zero vomiting, is simply unfair. Alhamdulillah, my work and career are not impacted at all from this pregnancy.

My tummy is really protruding out. Not sure whether it’s due to the baby or just the sheer amount of food I eat. It is getting uncomfortable to sleep no matter how many pillows I use to support my tummy and my back. Sooooo miserable.

Other than that, the itching at the tummy area is starting already. Although I am religiously putting Bio Oil and Clarins stretch mark cream after every shower (doesn’t really help my old stretch marks but hey, I don’t want to make them worse)... but sometimes I just feel like scratching the hell away. But sabar sabar. Still can tahan.

With this pregnancy, I'm still having the occasional acne breakouts, and my hair is absolutely limp. Hence, I have zero motivation to dress up and look good. I guess it is true - common wisdom explains that this is because the baby girl is stealing the mother's beauty. All I want to do is to dress myself up in comfy baggy clothes and curl up on the sofa and sleep. I have no interest in updating my social media nor take photos of myself. I still have to look presentable to work, but honestly I’m running out of clothes to wear to hide my bump. My mood is generally neutral in the office (as long as I am constantly fed), but just the other day a staff of mine had to bear the wrath of my hormonal crankiness. No I didn’t scream or anything, but damn - I was strict and direct. Zero smiles.

My sweet sister in laws arranged for a surprise bouquet of flowers to be sent to the office - they're as excited as I am to welcome their first niece! Meanwhile, the boys are starting to accompany yours truly at shopping for girls clothes. OMG I gravitate towards anything pink... and everything is so cute!!!

Just one more week before I jump into my second trimester. Usually then, the ‘I need to eat all the time’ phase eases up, and my headaches go away too. I am sooooo looking forward to that.

Wish me luck peeps.

Unexpected #3

I’m struggling to put my thoughts onto paper as I am still struggling to process the news.

Not many people know this, but Hubby and I went though an IVF back in October 2017 which failed miserably. (I mentioned a lost in October a few times via blog and IG - this was what I meant.) I documented my whole IVF process which I’m not ready to share just yet - but all I can say is, IVF is not an easy experience for anyone; even for someone like me who is blessed with multiple eggs, two successful drama free pregnancies and a controllable PCOS.

Why IVF? Cos we wanted to determine when I would get pregnant plus most importantly, the gender. I know it might sound selfish to some - doing IVF to determine the gender while some people are simply struggling to conceive. All I can say is, I am one of the few who struggles with not being in control of something. And being pregnant with a 50/50 chance of having yet another boy was not something I wanted to gamble with. Especially since we had collectively agreed to max our number of kids to only three.

But of course, Allah had greater plans for me (and He wanted to show me who’s the real boss of life)!

Hubby and I wanted to kick start our 2nd IVF round in March. Well guess what. We didn’t even get around to doing so... Because on 18th February, I found out that I was pregnant!

I swear, this is my smoothest first trimester ever. Since I have PCOS, my last period was in November (right after the end of my IVF cycle). Of course, I started getting worried about a no show of period in Jan but decided to just brush it off. I did notice an elevated sense of hunger. Asyik lapar jer. To the point that I avoided the weighing scale like a plague. And my face started breaking out pretty badly, specifically a cluster on my left chin, but I thought it was due to stress at work. Because of the absence of my period, the thought of buying a pregnancy test occurred a few times, but I never got around to buying one - sebab the chance of me being pregnant without some form of artificial help, is practically slim to none.

We went for a day trip to Kuantan and that was when I started getting suspicious. Pening pening the whole trip (which I chalked off due to tiredness from traveling) and an elevated sense of smell (I wanted to puke from the smell of my nephew’s stained diapers in the dustbin). On the way home we made a pit stop to GPO and my headache got worse. Kids were hungry but we didn’t want to stop for dinner so we picked up a few tidbits at a kiosk. Upon having a few bites of Pringles (not exactly the most nutritious food), the headaches went away. Masa tuh dah nervous cos usually if I am pregnant, I cannot be left hungry. Must always be fed to reduce my pening pening. But still I was in denial. Tried to blame the acne antibiotics for causing the headaches, but Hubby was having none of it so the next day we got ourselves two packs of pregnancy tests.

By the time we got home from our trip to the pharmacy it was already night and we were just about to cuddle up in front of the TV to watch Transformers the Last Knight. Plus baru jer zip my luggage as Aiden and I were due to fly to Kuching the next day. Dragged myself to the toilet downstairs to do the test (masih denial lagi masa nie) and I remember muttering the F word non stop as the second line started appearing. As I told Hubby, “That second line came up tanpa segan silu... hence I must be pretty far along and there is no such thing as a false positive. Ini semua salah you!” (Hahaha ibu mengandung is allowed to blame anyone under the sun except herself.) Seriously, it was such bad timing for me especially since I just started my new role at work. The original plan was to do a second round of IVF and then store the embryo until a suitable period at work appeared.

Because it was late night and my flight was at 8am the next day, I had to wait until I got home from my business trip to do a scan at our local clinic. This was what we found:

Baby's first picture - 22nd Feb 2018. EDD end Sept.

At barely 2 centimeters, the baby was already 9 weeks old! See how I practically breezed through the first trimester??!! Finally got a gynae appointment with my fertility gynae on 28th Feb. We saw the baby waving his/her arm towards us! Also requested to do a blood test to check for abnormalities and most importantly to check the gender. MasyaAllah, I cannot even begin to tell you the nervousness I was carrying around for the past few weeks, waiting for the results to come out. Last child slot, and it turned out to be an accident baby. *cries*

As a coping mechanism, I completely shut everything off. Zero blog updates, zero social media presence. I distanced myself from family and friends and started wearing baggy clothes to work. I didn't want to tell anyone that I was pregnant... at least not until the gender is known. Practically everyone around me knows how much I wanted a girl, so if they knew that I was pregnant, they would probably comfort me by diagnosing my pregnancy sickness, comparing it to theirs, checking the shape of my tummy and then correlating it to the chances of it being a girl. I don't think I can cope with that, especially if my hopes get crushed.

So yesterday afternoon, I was lying on the couch nursing a headache after a long day at work. Lab results were due the next day. Suddenly the hospital called. Answered the call, and it was my gynae's nurse. It was close to 7pm already so I was very nervous about the reason for her call. I remember her introducing herself, and then she started giggling. (I couldn't tell whether it was a joyful or nervous laugh.)

Then she said these magic words, "It's a girl!!!!"

OMG I felt tears of joy spring into my eyes. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah. I asked her whether she was sure and she said, "Test results tulis absence of Y chromosome, so kalau XX means it's a girl!" I asked her the accuracy of the test and she confirmed 99% accurate. After saying thank you and goodbye, I disconnected the call and the first thing I did was hug my helper!!!! *chuckles* She was as elated as I was.

Immediately called Hubby afterwards. He was buying groceries before heading home, and when I gave him the good news, his voice raised excitedly, so much so that he said everyone looked at him in curiousity. *giggles* He actually had to abandon the groceries trolley and walked out to continue our conversation! After the call, I did a sujud syukur. Alhamdulillah, termakbul doa. Until today, I still have goosebumps whenever I remember the exact time that I found out the news. Syukur sangat sangat, feels so surreal!

The announcement.

The kids? Frankly they don't care about what gender the baby is. Ian has absolutely no preference (although he loves his boy baby cousin to bits) but Aiden can be swayed to either side. I tried baiting him by saying, "Well the baby girl won't take any of your toys cos she will need new girl toys!" and he curtly answered, "But she will take over my TV and watch princess movies all the time!"

Will I need another TV? Only time will tell. *chuckles*

Wish me luck with the pregnancy!